I Choose My Future.

Dear Reader,

This past weekend I went home to visit my parents and my twin brothers, and it was a great trip home! Sometimes trips are super stressful and give me anxiety, and though there was some of both, it was still really good. Our main reason for visiting was just that my sister had a friday off, but there was many reasons to go. 

My cousin just had a baby, and we got to see her sweet little newborn, my little brothers are about to celebrate their 15th birthday, so we celebrated that a little early so we could be there, and lastly... my parents bought a new house. Though the other house had all of my high school memories in it, it had all the good and all the bad, so a new house was just the change I needed to feel better about visiting home. It was an awesome trip.

Staying in a different house gave me an opportunity to think about all of the memories that happened in the other house, the one I spent most of my important teenage years in, this was not necessarily a good thing for me. The good ones with enjoyable company and great parties are awesome to think about, but the not so great ones which involve me making stupid choices, getting upset and fighting with family over stupid things, having people over when I wasn't suppose to, or even just those depressing days when I knew I wasn't making good choices, but not being able to figure out how to fix the future I was setting up for myself... not so great to think about. Those were some hard and confusing years! And what was my motive behind all of this, why was I doing the things I did? I made so many choices that molded who I am today, Good and Bad!

And it's still not that easy to make choices, but I have also figured some things out along this journey of life!

And here it is, the evolution of my choices.

When I was really young my parents made choices for me... and as a young child, all I wanted to do was not disappoint my parents, so I made good choices, and they would be proud, and when I made bad choices, I felt like I let them down, and they reassured me they loved me no matter what choices I made. I got to my pre-teen years and I made choices of my own, bad ones involved not showering as much as I needed to, and stealing my sisters clothes. I also chose to do creative things like writing, art, and band, and now look at me, I am a creative genius ;) Then those teen years happened. I made some good friends, some bad friends, I chose some good classes to take, and others I had to drop because I hated them.. so much!(.*cough**cough* MATH) And I made all of those choices for me. I chose to play Volleyball and quit band because Volleyball meant so much more to me. I took pottery instead if Trig because I wanted to be happy and not miserable! My best friend was the most amazing crazy weirdo that everyone loved because I loved to enjoy life and have fun, and she helped me do that. I did all of that for me! Why I chose to date before I was 16, and disobey most of my parents wishes, I still can't quite figure that out. Stubbornness is the only logical explanation, cause though I chose to date for me, I wasn't thinking of the future effects. 

But now that I am an Adult, why do I make the choices I do?  

I made the choice to move away from home because I needed to grow up, and be independent. I made the choice to not go to school yet because I don't want to go straight into debt. I find myself everyday thinking, how are my choices today going to affect me tomorrow?

But honestly, I make the choice everyday to be better than the person I was yesterday. To be who I really want to be, day by day I make choices for a better future. A future with a husband who is not perfect but perfect for me, and a forever family. In 20 years I don't want to look back and regret all of the choices I made. So I have to look forward to the future and not ponder on the past and the memories. I need to choose my future, because I know it's bright!

Love, 
Brooke